All you ever wanted to know (and some things you didn't) about Amber Stout...

Amber Stout

Canadian beers: complex.

Amber Stout is a complex, tasty entity.

If you're curious about this bizarre brew, we're here to take away the mystery for you, like Scooby Doo and his gang pulling the sheet off the head of the nasty janitor!

What might surprise even the 'stoutest' fan of this fine beer is the depth of resources available for Amber Stoutphiles with a thirst for information as well as for lashings of malty brew.

Truth is, there's much more to this tipple than a bunch of hops and water and junk like that.

So come with us on the magical mystery tour that is... Amber Stout!

Amber Stout will surprise, entertain and amaze!

At the UNOB, we put our research team on the Amber Stout assignment with absolutely no idea of what we'd find. Here's the startling results!

Beamish Irish Stout
Here come the Oirish! Lock up yer daughters!

Beamish is the original and perhaps best Amber Stout. You may be confused as to why it's known as Amber when it's pitch black. Me too.

I suspect you will cease caring once you're midway through the fifth pint of the evening.

Me too.

Pale Stout and Amber

Confusingly, this Celtic music double act has three names. I guess the lack of a comma after Pale means there should only be two of them. You could always ask for a third of your money back, should you buy a CD or concert ticket on the basis of this misunderstanding.

Mind you, there's a third guy who sometimes joins in. And a bird with a harp from time to time. So there you are.

Celtic music: twangy. No member of the band looks very pale, though the guy in the red shirt could be considered stout. You can download brief snippets of their songs by clicking on their name link above this paragraph, which will be a lot of fun. Really.

Big Rock Brewery Black Amber Stout

This Alberta, Canada brewer numbers several tasty-sounding beers among its offerings. The Black Amber is among the finest of them.

And the amazing news is, this one is ACTUALLY amber in colour! You can see the very tempting picture at the top of this page. Mmm, beer.

Is there nothing beer can't improve? Now you can get soft, manageable, peachy-beery hair too. Back to Basics Peach Stout Amber beer shampoo

Drink it, snort it, vomit it and now wash your hair in it. Is there no end to beer's bountiful gifts?

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Miss Amber Stout's Kindergarten

Kindergarten teachers: trustworthy.

Your kids will be safe and sound with Miss Stout. Just because she has the same name as a type of beer, that's nothing to worry yourself about.

Parents in Anchorage, Alaska should trust her completely. She looks very friendly and absolutely on top of her game.

IronBark Stout

This Australian classic is a small label producer. Located in the Swan Valley, Perth, this is a must-visit site if you're backpacking your way through Aussie beer hangouts.

If a 'Sheila' offers to get all marsupial with you, it's probably a compliment. Buy her a beer. Or several, in fact. Then write to us with the kiss-and-tell story!

Texas Tech police report from November 2005

An amusingly beer-like name won't help your case when you're up before the beak on a DUI... You couldn't make this up. And we didn't.

Student Amber Stout was arrested for driving while intoxicated and taken to Lubbock County Jail!

Now there's a headline made for tabloids if ever I saw one. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

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