Beer Activated Girl T-shirt

by Tom Warin
(Salem, MA)

Beer Activated Girl T-shirt
(CafePress)

The first beer activated girls, or lagermädchen, came out of secret German weapons factories in the closing years of World War II. Left unchallenged, they might have changed the course of the war.

Fortunately, thanks to the work of the code-breakers at Bletchley Park, the British had became aware of the lagermädchen programme and were working hard on a response that they code-named Operation Alewife.

For three days, the forests of the Ardennes echoed with the sounds of the titanic clash between the lagermädchen and the alewives. Unimaginable energies were unleashed.

Even now, there are pockets of the forest where nothing will grow, except for certain strains of wild hops.

In the end, the final offensive of the third Reich was pushed back, at great cost.

After the war, the technology was supposed to have been destroyed under the terms of an international agreement, but rumors persist that beer activated girls are still out there. Are they agents of good or ill? We may never know.

One thing we know for sure is that they have impeccable taste in beer. The design of this Beer Activated Girl T-shirt is based on schematics unearthed from Lagermädchen Fabrik 3 and is guaranteed 100 per cent historically accurate.