United Nations of Beer

Beer Batter recipe

by Ashley Cotter-Cairns
(UNOB HQ)

Beer Batter recipe
The simplest ever!

Here at the UNOB, we are privileged to know the world's least inept cook, and he managed it. Believe me, if HE can do it, so can you!

Preparation time:
3 minutes

Cooking time:
Depends on what you are cooking in the batter. Example, fish (one minute for shrimp, three to four for white fish)

Ingredients

One cup of beer (the type of beer will affect the taste, so don't use the awful piss even your cousin won't drink)
One cup of plain flour
One teaspoon of baking powder
One egg

Directions

Lob all of the ingredients into a bowl and beat until the mix is smooth. For the lazy arses among you, the beer batter can be mixed in a food processor or blender.

Heat a frying pan or deep fat frier. Leave the batter to stand for a minute or so, before dipping in your choice of fish or other product (deep fried Mars bars are very popular in Scotland, we hear. But so is heart disease).

For shrimp, cook them one minute per side. Don't overcook or they'll turn nasty and rubbery. For white fish, cook them two to three minutes per side. Thicker pieces of fish require a bit longer. When it flakes if you prod it with a fork, the fish will be ready to serve.

Can't manage this recipe?

Seek psychiatric help immediately.