United Nations of Beer

Bock Beer

by Tom Warin
(Salem, MA)

http://store.cottonfactory.com/cf-756.html

Bock, the dark German lager that is named after a goat and kicks like a mule. Where would I be without it? Well, I probably wouldn't be in the cargo hold of a military transport, handcuffed to a gorilla, about to land on a roughly hewn airstrip in the middle of a Central American jungle. I appear to be dressed as a Colonel in the Mexican army as well.

It's really not my fault, these things just seem to happen when bock gets involved. The first time I tried Doppelbock, I woke up as deckhand on a tramp steamer, bound for Singapore. After a few too many Maibocks, I ended up as Attorney General of Iowa. Eisbock is the grandaddy of them all, ice-distilled for maximum alcohol, it's the reason for seven of my eight restraining orders.

To help me remember that bock is not my friend, I've asked all of my friends to start wearing these tee shirts from The Cotton Factory whenever we go out. It hasn't worked so far, but I have high hopes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out what this gorilla wants with me...