United Nations of Beer

Bottle Wobble Bobble Opener

by Tom Warin

Bottle Wobble Bobble Opener
(Amazon)

These days it seems like every tool in the kitchen has to be a multi-tasker. It's not enough that it can core and peel an apple, can it do the same for a turnip? The problem with multi-taskers is that nine times out of ten, they don't do either job as well as a uni-tasker.

Case in point: I have a draw full of things that can be used to open a bottle of beer. Some of them also open wine. One of them can also punch holes in the tops of things, should you be in need of something with a top requiring holes.

But when I comes to opening a bottle of beer, I always reach for "Old Greeny", which doesn't do anything but open bottles of beer and does it damn well. It originally came from a brewery in Vermont, but the logo has long since faded.

Having said all that, the Bobbling Monster Bottle Opener, available from those dark lords of e-commerce at Amazon, features the kind of multi-tasking I can get on board with.

Not only can you use them to open bottles, they're also kind of fearsome-looking and they wobble! Collect enough of them and you can make a wobbling army large enough to slow the cat down for a minute. Use them to replace the boring pieces in your favorite board games.

The options are literally optional.