United Nations of Beer

Castle Lager

by Dallas Reimer
(Beer Delegate, MB, Canada)

Castle Lager
South Africa
Visit the UNOB's World Beer Guide

Although I am not familiar with Africa in the slightest, I am familiar with Castle Lager. It's not that I've tried it before, but it is entirely so bland and tasteless that I feel like I've drunk it a thousand times already, on my World Tour of Beer and before. Mostly in my teenage years before I knew that there was beer beyond pilsner.

I am starting to feel a special sort of animosity towards my local liquor mart, for providing only the most tasteless brews from countries around the world in order to satisfy the palate of all but the most sensitive.

Although the beer I am tasting is bland and smells like the aftermath of a bachelor party, I am fascinated with the archeological discoveries of the region. The first modern human may have originated here! Even though I am drunk and have been using the backspace key more than any other, I continue my Wikipedia exploration.

I imagine myself in Cape Town, which is one of three capital cities in South Africa. It is the legislative capital. I refrain from shouting "Why don't you legislate some decent beer?"