A Colt 45 beer review that will make you really glad you didn't grow up in an Ontario ghetto...

Colt 45 beer review
Submitted by Seamus Vaughan

So for my first review, I will start where it all began, Colt 45. Whether in a can or a bottle, this beer has a distinct taste you won't soon forget. It has the aroma of gasoline and the taste of a tinny sack of quarters.

When drinking the cans during your Colt 45 beer review, you may notice that one in twelve tastes like paint thinner. I never quite figured out if that would be considered a bonus?

Technically, it's not a beer, its a malt liqour, because of its higher alcohol content, 8%. That 8% goes a long way. It even says "It works every time" on the label, and trust me, Colt 45 never lies.

Colt 45: painful and paint-ful

Colt 45: the mingled gasoline and sack of quarters taste.

It kicks like the horse in the picture. Drink three and good luck remembering what the back of your hand looks like.

BUT it gives you the strength (and gas) of ten men, increased stamina and a strange hyperactivity, which really makes you wonder if it's really beer at all.

Maybe it's really superjuice! Or POISON!

However, if you live through your Colt 45 experience, you will learn to respect the drink. At 5$ a bottle, which will roughly fill two and a half pint glasses, it's easily worth five pints (because of the alcohol content).

For my next article... the effervescent Lysol and Crest megamix! [Don't try this at home... ed.]

Comments on this review

Comment by Greg Barbera: Wanted to say I can't believe Seamus paid $5 for a 40oz. Colt 45. I guess the price goes up $3 when it crosses the border.