United Nations of Beer

Dawn of the Hangover Tank Top

by Tom Warin
(Salem, MA)

Dawn of the Hangover Tank Top
(CafePress)

Parents are full of useless advice. "Don't make that face, it'll stick that way." "Eat your greens, or you'll grow up sickly." "Stay away from boys until I'm dead." "Don't run with scissors, it blunts the blades." "Don't hit your sister, she'll grow up resentful and won't cry at your funeral."

But do they ever once warn you about the perils of going out drinking during a full-out Zombie Apocalypse? They do not! They're more concerned with you keeping your room tidy, doing your homework and not bringing home tattooed bikers.

As a result, a whole generation has grown up without the basic skills to survive even the most feeble zombie attack. They should be boarding up the windows, checking their ammo and being suspicious of Ellen who swears she didn't get bitten, but how come she's keeping her collar up all the time? Instead, they're down the pub, partying it up like it's the end of the world. Which admittedly it is.

Sure, a pint or two of refreshing ale can take the edge of the collapse of civilization, but you're gonna regret it in the morning when you wake up with a zombie hangover.

This Dawn of the Hangover Tank Top, available from CafePress, is part of a new public service information campaign to help people understand the serious repercussions of getting wasted when the undead roam the streets.

We're not saying you shouldn't have a pint or two, but make sure you can still run without falling over and fire a shotgun if you need to.