United Nations of Beer

Funny drunk stories: Dad's Bender

by Jimbo

My Dad was a bigshot corporate executive who used to go on benders every couple of months. One day he left for the office in the morning dressed to the nines as usual: pnstriped suit, silk tie, mirror-shined Italian shoes, starched shirt, cufflinks, everything - and didnt show up that night until 4 AM.

He was wearing a cheap pair of overalls that was several sizes too small and dirty work boots. And he wasn't as drunk as usual. Only a little.

The next day we found out what happened. Dad had gone to a bar downtown that had plenty of fights and was open all night. He was very overdressed and regretted going in. But he wanted his whiskey.

This drunk guy in the bar said he liked Dad's suit and shoes - and he offered to buy them. Dad said "Forget it. My clothes are not for sale".

The drunk guy wouldn't let up. Finally he said: "If you won't SELL your fancy clothes, will you BET them? I will do a backflip on the bar right now. If I do, I get your clothes. Suit, tie, shoes, the works?"

"A BACKFLIP?!" My Dad laughed and said "Sure. Everything." This guy claimed he could do a backflip on the bar! My Dad - already a little buzzed - said he couldn't do it. This guy was already drunk after all.

Another guy who was watching all of this said to the better: "Hey you forgot Mr. Executive's socks! And look at this overcoat he has with him! Make him bet his watch too!"


"OK!" said the drunk guy. "Is it a deal? Socks, overcoat and watch too?"

"Sure, sure - you can't even sit up! It's a deal." My Dad said he thought he was crazy and could never do it. He was much shorter than my Dad and worked as a mechanic. He was wearing overalls. What would he want with a pinstriped suit made for a man who was much taller? He paid no attention.

So the mechanic got up on the bar, and he did the backflip - and he wasn't joking. The others in the bar made my Dad pay up right there. Dad tried to slip out but they made him take off and hand over his designer suit, tie, shoes, shirt, cufflinks, overcoat - even his fancy silk socks. They took his watch off him first. A bet was a bet.

My Dad was left with the mechanic's overalls and boots and took a cab home looking and feeling ridiculous.

But that didn't stop Dad's benders. He became known in that bar and went there all the time.

The next month my Dad saw the same guy in the bar and he was dressed to the nines - he had my Dad's suit altered to fit him and the shoes were his size anyway. He had the watch on, the tie, the overcoat and was even wearing Dad's socks!

Dad was on another bender, but at least he didn't take another bet from that guy. He made sure he dressed down just in case that same guy suggested another bet when they were both drunk.