United Nations of Beer

Good Beer

by Matt Yee
(Hawaii, USA)

You'll know Good Beer when you (finally) taste it

As I don't actually have any official beer review, I will describe my first good beer experience. I started at 26. Convinced by age 23 that beer was a watery concoction that tasted similar to the soda leftovers mixed with melted ice, I had denied myself the opportunity to try more.

I was working downtown at a graphic a few years later. My friend invited me to spend a week with him at Portland's Reed College during RennFaire, and I accepted. This is a school where the men's restroom walls are adorned with a deluge of stenciled logos in homage to the God of Cheap College Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Coming from Hawaii, I had never heard of PBR. When my friend convinced me to help him chug some and stumble drunk around the campus, how could I refuse?

This was clearly NOT a good beer. Going down, it was utterly vile, even more vile than Heineken and Corona, two of the most popular beers in Hawaii. Being a complete alcohol rookie, in no time I was completely drunk. Life was suddenly wonderful. Girls were more beautiful. Conversation was more interesting.

Later on, despite how great it felt, in hindsight I decided that if drinking such vile crap was what it took to get drunk, I could live without it.

Fast-forward two days: my friend was a Northern Soul DJ, and he wanted to attend a small get-together with a group of hipsters at a restaurant in downtown Portland. Put me in a room with a bunch of hipsters and that's a formula for boredom. So out of boredom I decided to get a good beer.

Me: Can I get Corona?
Bar: I'm sorry, we don't have Corona.
Me: How about a Heineken?
Bar: Sorry, no Heineken.
Me: Umm, OK, how about some Pabst?
Bar: I'm sorry, we don't serve that kind of beer here.
At that point I was completely stumped.
Me: Give me the best one you have!

In a pint glass, filled to the brim, was this thick, black-looking beer. Intimidated, I asked, "What's this called?"
He replied, "Black Butte Porter."

That roasted, nutty and slightly licorice taste of a really good beer will be forever burned into my mind. And it's been a wonderful downhill ride ever since.