United Nations of Beer

Kirin Strong Seven

by Daniel Burt
(Beer Delegate, Japan)

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Kirin Strong Seven

Self-contemplation; I thought about myself and it was good.

The depths of my emotional analysis do know bounds, as a fully fledged dude I find expression of feeling almost entirely unacceptable; modesty is for people with no talent, crying is, in every conceivable scenario, a preposterous expression of inner conflict for a man and as for self-doubt? Well, that's almost certainly reserved for people that arn't drunk.

That said, I wonder if, when Nietzsche coined the term Superman, he necessarily had in mind a fellow partially dressed and drinking an economy price beer named Strong Seven on his own whilst watching poor video quality internet downloaded films (the rental fee would have meant another foreited month's rent).

Let's face it, there's a clear, if invisible line - here be culture and there be crass; the lone figure busily slurping on high volume low price alcohol, well... he's made his choice, and he knows his place in this fairweather world.

So, we have the noun onomatepeia for soundalike words but... has anyone thought of the definition word for something that exactly describes the thing it's describing? Because frankly, a more adequate description, nay mission statement, than Strong Seven has yet to reveal itself to this correspondent.

Yes, the beer is Strong, we know this as it is seven percent, and the seven element of the title, well it's just word efficacy gone bananas. No one can say that you are not adequately prepared. No one can say you weren't warned.

And if you're wondering about the taste? Well, once again Kirin's marketing board has again, pre-empted your concerns as we learn that "This hard and great taste brings you the great feeling" and I can confirm that after 700ml, the dubious word deployment will not concern you because, chance by glorious chance, the great feeling it refers to is Intoxication.

Really, if you've purchased a beer called Strong Seven you're not the type of person who really cares so much about taste (I know this because I am judgemental) but you know what? I'll do you this one small favour and talk about it anyway.

The beer does a stirling job of masking the unpleasant taste of excess alcohol by tasting not dissimilar to water (this puts it far and away above both meths and paint thinner) and initially seems to have a slight, malingering, indefinably dirty aftertaste - though after the third can, I can confirm that this seemed to fade slightly. Biologically speaking this could be symptomatic of an overall erosion of higher cognitive functions as, sure enough, I noted...

1 - Mildly impaired speech and selective aphasia coupled with...

2 - An increased willingness and desire to talk to girls (thanks to my roomate for being a good sport)

3 - A heightened sense of emotional resonance; everything seemed so significant.

Kirin's Strong Seven, I dub you lonely man beer, the quickest, cheapest most jarringly efficient way to get drunk in Japan - but really, if you're of drinking age in Japan you're almost certainly earning enough money to buy something better; cumulatively, is the extra 300 yen really so much for some flavour, some refinement... some small measure of self-worth?

Suitable for frat-parties and hobos.