Lee Harvey's, Dallas

by Kate McKeon
(Beer Delegate, TX, USA)

Lee Harvey's in Dallas. Awarded "Best Outdoor Head 2007" by the Dallas Observer. WTF?

Lee Harvey's in Dallas is named after the infamous man shot by Jack Ruby, who was another infamous man, whose old office I drink in on occasion...

Welcome to Dallas, folks!

Lee Harvey's a place you need, nay, you MUST visit should you swing through my fair city at any point. First of all you will enjoy a wee bit of Texicana. Second, the beer is ridiculously cheeeeeeeap. MMMMuuummmmm, delicious. They have a reasonalbe beer menu, but please, be adventurous and not beer snobbus.

A Lone Star beer will set you back $2 and on a blisteringly hot day will be mildly refreshing... because you're basically drinking flavored water. But, you'll spend less and avoid the douche-bag look that those fruit-heads drinking strawberry-flavored water have. So, enough said, conserve water, drink beer.

Noteables for Lee Harvey's:

Dallas bouncer -- The place is guarded both by people and a (literally) junk yard dog. The dog took an instant liking to me and licked my hand, but just went ape when a crack-head-looking fellow walked by on the far side of the fence. Can dogs be trained to smell crack? Does crack smell? These are questions for which I really do not need the answer.

Cool servers -- The bartenders at Lee Harvey's are cool. Super cool. But not shithead-snotty-cool. 100% Authentic cool.

Dancing feet -- If you have a pair of boots on, they'd better be broken in or they'll get broken in, you bloody Yankee.

You snooze, you lose -- There's a hammock. HAMMOCK! It's hammock time! (insert MC Hammer theme muzac here)

Juke's no hazard -- The juke box is all you'll ever need. So step away from that fancy-schmancy iPod and give a good listen to the sounds of Texas on a summer night. Or Fall. Or Winter. Or Spring.

Outdoor activites -- Yes, it is okay to use the facilities by your car... the grass, people. Use the grass!

Editor's note: I see that Lee Harvey's won an award for "Best Outdoor Head 2007" by the Dallas Observer. I have absolutely no idea what that means, unless it's literal. Either way, WTF?!