United Nations of Beer

Light beer

by Shannon Wand
(Beer Delegate, QC, Canada)

Light beer guide
Drink yourself thin!

So there I was, at an unmentionably young age in jean shorts and a cotton T, my hair matted from a day at the pool, sipping on a bottle of Coors Light because the boy I loved liked it. Plus it was drinkable: much better than that dark stuff my dad drank.

Coors tasted freezer burnt and a bit like dirty water. At the time, it tasted like summer. It made me feel older, sophisticated and, after a while, drunk.

Times have changed though and my light beer drinking ways are more due to the ability of my body to retain water and my ridiculous attempts at staying sober. Of course, don't take my word for it, but keep in mind that I speak on behalf of all light-drinking women (I leave men out of it, because who could possibly understand men?).

To our delight, there is many a light brew available now that actually tastes good. Not at all like dirty water. I'm not talking about Budweiser, Blue, Miller, or any of the other beers that people who don't actually like beer drink in large quantities. I'm talking about:

Guinness. Guinness is a light beer? This dark-n-creamy stout boasts only 125 calories and 9.9 grams of carbs. But Guinness is dark... how can it be, well, light?

At 4% ABV, it's lighter than most light-coloured beers. It is an acquired taste, but it's more filling than regular beers, so you'll drink less. You'll save calories, money and face by drinking a real beer. Tell that to the fellas that say light beer is a girlie drink!

Corona Light. Oh stop your groaning: there is no truth to the rumour that factory workers pee on the bottles. All you get with a Corona Light is a beer that is smooth, refreshing and that leaves no aftertaste. Add a dash of lime and you’re all set.

At just 105 calories and 5 grams of carbs, this beer is a favourite. Careful though, the light taste and low alcohol content (4.5% ABV) tricks you into thinking that you can drink 10 of 'em and dance the samba!

Sleeman Clear. Here's where I get some grief from my husband. His exact words when it's my turn to buy beer are: "Don't buy any of that bottled water that you like! Just buy beer!"

Well, dammit, I like it. With only 90 calories, 2.5 grams of carbs and 4% ABV it's as light as they get. It is an easy-drinking lager that has a clean finish with no aftertaste, but don't expect to get too much respect for drinking it.

From Coors Light to Guinness is a long trek. Looking back on that first summer of beer makes me realise that there wasn't as much sophistication as I had imagined. The boy was a bad kisser and, let's face it, Coors Light sucks.

But somewhere in my psyche, light beer is associated with long, warm days, the smell of chlorine and my first kiss. Pretty powerful stuff. My own change in tastes makes me realise that you should drink what you like. As with everything else, taste is subjective.

To hell with drinking what other people think is cool, to hell with the reviewers and beer snobs. And, just because fair is fair, to hell with me!