The Oilman introduces the Official Beerfest guide!
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Official Beerfest guide
Since the dawn of my reign over the Alberta beer scene (all of two weeks now), I have said I would cover beer events and activities that are going on.
For the select few who have yet to see it, I suggest you rent or buy the new Broken Lizard movie, Beerfest. For those who have seen it, you certainly have dreamt of holding such an event with your closest friends.
On March 10, me and 11 of my closest friends decided to descend upon a garage. This is to serve as the UNOB Official Beerfest guide! I will share with you my experiences, whether good or bad, in the hope that you can host such a premier event.
The Beer: We ordered a 50-litre keg of Molson Canadian. This proved to be not enough. We ran out after six hours, before we could finish the event. Let's face it; too much beer is better then not enough. I'd say a keg for ten people would be sufficient (about 18 beers per person).
Another little side note: try to get a keg pump with a large pump handle. When filling up large drinks on your official Beerfest event, it gets rather annoying to have a short one. $20 per person covered the keg, ice, tap and deposit.
The UNOB Beer T-Shirt Collection
The
Location: I
don't think you could pick a better spot
then a garage for your official Beerfest drinking event. The floor will
get dirty! A garage can easily be hosed down and
the doors can be opened to vent. Also as quite a few players were
smoking and
chewing, outside is just a door away. You can keep your shoes on!
Outdoors
would be just as handy, but if you live in the city you have neighbors
to deal
with.
The
Rules: Make sure you SOBERLY write out a set of rules
that YOU play. You do not have to listen to the rules I play by, but
just make
sure everyone understands the rules. There was a point system in place
on a
large scoreboard. 6 = Winner, 5 = second, 4 = third, etc.
There was also a -1 point for throwing up. And -2 points for missing
the
throw-up garbage. You NEED a stopwatch.
The teams: We played teams of two. I was a little wary of this but it worked out fantastically in the end. With four players or more there would be too much standing around and sobering up. Picking numbers proved to be the fairest way of all. But if you are super-competitive, bringing your own official Beerfest team would work also.
The games: We tried to stick as true to Official Beerfest games as we could. We opted out on events such as Monkey Chug because of the lack of supplies.
Volume Chug: We filled up a large bowl with six beers. You could split it between your team of two however you wished. On the movie they do a pitcher for one person. I know the official Beerfest games constitute a drinking contest, but there is plenty of drinking to come. Six beers is plenty and the cold keg does not help. Our winner finished in about 30 seconds.
Baseball
Bat Spins: One person per team went in groups of
two. Run across the garage, spin with a baseball bat ten times and then
run
across the garage to drink a full red
The UNOB Beer T-Shirt Collection
Tri-Pong:
Essentially what most people call Beer Pong.
Make a triangle of beer glasses and throw a ping pong ball. If it lands
in the
cup you drink it. Once all your cups are gone you lose. Make a pre
determined
bracket before teams and numbers are chosen. (Note: Fill up your beers
for the next official Beerfest game
while the other is winding down to save time.)
Beer
Pong: A game of ping pong with your cups on the table.
If you sink it in the other person's glass, you win. If you hit the
edge the
finish half. Keep filling up the beers until the game is over.
Speed Chug: Back-to-back chugs between teammates. First one done wins. Our winners finished in seven seconds.
Turbo Quarters: Each official Beerfest team member has five quarters to sink and a beer. Once you have sunk your five quarters, you chug a beer. Our winners finished in about a minute.
Long Pour: This is where our game fell apart. DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME. The game involves pouring beer from the waste into the teammate's mouth, minimising the amount spilled. We put pans under the drinkers head to measure. There is no way to accurately measure the amount left. We poured them into matching cups but due to spills on the ground this proved impossible. This far into the official Beerfest game (and this much beer consumed), you do not want arguments.
Distance Quarters: Here you must realize Beerfest is a movie. Another game you should not play. No one at our game could sink a quarter from over four feet, so it proved kind of pointless. Waste of time.
Thumper: The most fun of official Beerfest drinking games to play. But if people are too drunk, it will not work. The game is quite difficult to explain, but if two or more people know it, it can be easily taught. Every time you mess up the pattern, you're out. Last two people tie for first (no second place given out).
Relay Chug: I ordered a glass boot from the Internet (look for my future article), but was not willing to bring it because it would most likely be wrecked. The first person chugs two beers and the second chugs another three beers. First done wins!
Total up the points and see the winner. The empty keg makes for an excellent trophy to the winner. All ties were decided by a chug. One person from each team, one beer, first done wins.
One thing I can't stress enough is to have ONE SOBER PERSON, not participating in the official Beerfest events and preferably friends with more then one person attending. We did not have one, but someone to mediate conflicts and apply rules is a must for next time. Cameras are ESSENTIAL.
The UNOB Beer T-Shirt Collection
Enjoy, but remember, it's more about the friends then the beer.
Finished reading our Official
Beerfest event guide?
Then check out our great Beer Gifts page!
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