Dallas Reimer celebrates pilsner and Bryan Adams season with Phil's Pils.
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Phil's Pils review
Submitted
by Dallas Reimer
I have always been a firm believer
that there are only two
seasons: Winter and Pilsner. Now that the snow has melted, the hot rods
are
out and Lucky Lager
is on special, it's Pilsner time!
I was perusing the liquor mart this weekend, trying to decide what I wanted to take to a friend's birthday party when Half Pint Brewery's section of the rack sported a new brew: Phils Pils.
I’ve been a big fan of Half Pints since I first tasted their Bulldog Amber ale, so I decided to pick up a couple of bottles and give it a try.
Phil's Pils
As for the details, this Pils is 5.2% abv, sold only in single bottles and is available only in Manitoba (sorry, suckers).
I haven't yet seen it on tap, but if I do, you'll find me fighting my way through art nerds and filmmakers at the King's Head pub to get to the kegs.
Half Pints suggests that each bottle they sell be divided into two and shared over an appropriate dinner.
Since that will probably not be the case, you may want to pour at least half of this bottle into a frosty glass to avoid the silly (or maybe empowering) feeling you get when hoisting a 660ml bottle to your lips. See fig. 1 for details.
Phil's Pils pours well and settles into a cloudy, golden brew with a lovely head. This beer is unfiltered and unpasteurized, so expect something other than "clean tasting" and "refreshing", which are code words for "sans flavour".
On the label of every bottle that Half Pints produces is a description of what you're getting into. There are a lot of big words on this one, like "Hallertau", "Melaniodin", and the perplexing "Czech".
All I taste is HOPS. As I expected with another Half Pints brew, there is big taste in this big bottle. I had the urge to chug it down as soon as I tasted it, but I held back. I was determined to get a real review out of this, rather than a beer-stained sheet of paper reading "thilas beeeer is effin goo-oood!!!1"
Phil's Pils is not a brew intended to quench your thirst. Every bottle you drink will leave you wanting another, then another, until you're crawling back up the steps to your bed where your significant other lay, waiting for you with a disgusted look on his/her face. That's when you slowly undress, crawl into bed nonchalantly, and tell them "I only had three or four", which, due to the perverse serving size, could be true.
Pick up any pilsner from your local beer repository and you know what you're getting into. Fundamentally, you're getting contaminated water. You may as well be drinking Bud Light.
Phil's Pils is akin to a Trojan Horse. It hides behind that label like a savage militia waiting to plunder your taste buds. "Oh, don't worry, I'm just a pilsner. It's not like I'm going to have any taste or anything." Be warned.
When you're reaching for that bottle opener and you got it in your head that you're going to sit down on the porch with your Golden retriever, sipping a cold one and watching the Sunday roll by, be warned that this lazy Sunday may just turn into something to be proud of.
Picture yourself running to the grocery
store five minutes
before it closes to get a rack of ribs and a bag of ice. Picture
yourself
transferring your stereo speakers to your backyard and blasting
some Summer
of '69 to the chagrin of your neighbours.
Picture yourself calling every phone
number in your little black book to turn this useless Sunday into a
Summer
Sunday.
And after you throw away your usual hot weather routine of mass-produced, tasteless beer, picture what else Phil's Pils is going to do for you, adventurer!
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