United Nations of Beer

The Beer Hammer

by Tom Warin

The Beer Hammer
(Baron Bob)

Some things are made to go together. Would there be a point to peanut butter if jelly had never been invented? Can you imagine the loneliness of salt if pepper had not been discovered? Starsky without Hutch would be an unbearable stream of crud. Shaggy without Scooby would just be a sad old hippy.

Similarly there are things which are not meant to be together. Scallops and butterscotch sauce. Britney and Kevin. Alien and Predator.

Thanks to the work of that maestro of the offbeat gift, Baron Bob, we can now add one more nightmarish pairing to the list: hammers and bottle openers.

The beer hammer combines the functionality of a hammer with that of a bottle opener in one lawsuit-waiting-to- happen tool. How many times have you been doing some light construction or hammering around the house and thought to yourself, "This would go a lot better if I was drunk"?

Alternately, how many times have you had a few beers and thought, "Man, I bet the evening would go a lot more smoothly if I had something I could hit things with"?

If you crave mysterious holes in your drywall, or the warm embrace of the county correctional facility, then The Beer Hammer is the tool for you.