Say this without a pause: Tiverton Bear Honey Brown Amber lager!

Tiverton Bear Honey Brown Amber lager review
Submitted by Ashley Cotter-Cairns

There are plenty of bizarre names in the beer world. Indeed, it's quite fasionable to give your brew some kind of Lord of the Rings style moniker, or to throw in random woodland animals, or simply take too long describing it.

So, for example, you might simply make a list like "Extra - Fine - Ultra - Double - Triple" and another like "Fox - Bear - Ferret - Wolf - Badger" and a third of colours, such as "Emerald - Gold - Bronze - Dark - Black - Silver" and pick randomly to get your beer name.

Don't tell me you wouldn't be intrigued by the resulting Extra Wolf Gold Pils, or Triple Ferret Dark Ale. I know I'd be there with my gold Visa card, before you could say Tiverton Bear Honey Brown Amber lager.

Tiverton Bear Brown

Steelback must have been having a laugh when they named this Tiverton Bear Honey Brown Amber lager!

Yes, that's the full, glorious title of this far-from-terrible lager. The title is a real mouthful and, with a typical Steelback can of 710ml (the average bottle of wine is 700ml) and a 5% abv, you might find you've bitten off more than you can chew with name and brew.

You can pour this fairly briskly without a froth eruption, though you'll be surprised subsequently by how fizzy this beer turns out to be. It will rival champagne for mouth tingle.

It pours a deep, rich amber colour and the smell will certainly remind you of a typical canned lager.

There's a twang there, real attitude, kind of "Don't fuck around with me unless you're ready to dance." Which is appropriate, given that it's a bear beer and that bears have been known to dance, when drunk, trained or otherwise provoked.

My son Jasper calls any bear "Bear Bear", though the taste of this bear is more bare. (Sorry, it's been a long day.)

The description promises an aftertaste with a hint of honey sweetness. Perhaps there's just a hint. But I'm being generous now.

You might detect a sweetness in the aroma of Tiverton Bear Honey Brown lager and, to be honest, if you are accustomed to cheap tins of lager, the aftertaste of this one is not vicious.

Brown bears: fizzy. I wouldn't call it exactly sweet either, but it's less artificial and cheek-suckingly chemical than most.

I'm actually quite disappointed, because I've been looking forward to a lager with a hint of honey ever since I bought this a couple of months ago.

Tiverton Bear Honey Brown is a reasonable canned lager and, if you're in a pinch, it will do for a night on the (fizzy) piss, but it's quite a way short of being truly memorable.

If only Steelback's brewmasters were as talented as their airbrush artists. They'd rule the world!